...New Year

-I'm paying forward the greatest gift GOD ever gave me..........life-

New years resolutions seem to be the big talk everywhere this time of year. People say they're going to do something, they give themselves a year to do it, and if they actually accomplish one of these resolutions, it's usually a fluke. I am one of these people- but since i'm aware of this, i just don't play the game. I don't set resolutions- until this year. This year is going to be the best year of my life thus far. All with the help of my trusty sidekick (my daughter), and my new best friends (my IPs).

1) I will become a more patient person. Please dear friends, hold me to this. This lovely world of surrogacy, when entered, should come with a disclaimer that reads: <hurry up and wait.> over and over and over again.

2) I will teach my daughter about the true gift of selfless giving. I will show her how to be generous and how to sacrifice for others. I know I've begun this one already when i hear my daughter (who is 4) explaining to people that 'Mommy is going to give a baby to Tara.' She gets it better than most adults, it blows my mind, and I am SO blessed to have her as my daughter.

3) I will pay it forward. Positiveness that is. This transformation has already begun. No, i will not tell you who upon, but i will share something about when it happened for me. -Although my parents would probably disagree, my childhood was not easy peasy. But what do us parents know anyway, right?! I carried around a lot of guilt, resentment, and anger growing up, and it's something that just became a part of me. I had an attitude you did not want to be locked in a room with. But about 7 (?) years ago I met this lady who not only opened up her heart to me, but her home and family as well. She lived very close to me (literally, next door) and sometimes, she was incredibly annoying. Now you're confused huh? I say she was annoying because even though she presented me with a safe haven, when i'd say anything negative, she'd follow back with, "positive thoughts lead to positive results." Man, how i hated that... Little does she know, I honestly loved it. And when i moved away, i took that moto with me. This wonderful woman made me realize that no matter where we had been or where we were going, what was going to happen, was in fact, going to happen. We can either approach it with a sour attitude, or we can be positive about it. My life has been so much more awesome since i decided to be positive about it, and now i will annoy someone else with positiveness till it infects her too! If some how, that wonderful person ever happens to read this, THANK YOU S.W.

Now back to all things surrogacy, since that's what you're really here for anyway right? 

Well, first things first, Tara is completely incapable of waiting... just putting it out there. As i mentioned in the last post- L and I will be going to NJ next week, but i now have a appointment scheduled for the 11th. As of right now they will only be phone appointments since that is their 'first step' in their routine, but apparently there is chance for those calls to get moved up and a possible 'All Day' appointment in the near future! Fingers are crossed, but not investing the heart yet. As i told you in resolution #1- hurry up and WAIT. 

I also read a first hand account on Selective Reductions tonight. I surrender. I now understand and realize my limitations. There is no way i would be able to allow an s/r. Thankfully I went to Tara immediately and we're in agreement.  I fell like i have rambled and babbled in this post. I'm also in debate with myself on whether to incorporate personal things (like i did in this post) in to the blog, or to keep it strictly surrogacy related. 

...Happy New Year Y'all!